Passions for Happiness

Of all the passions that I've encountered within myself in this lifetime my passion for happiness has been one of the most important.

When I was growing up my parents were very strict and I was fairly isolated and consequently more aloof and withdrawn than I might have been if I hadn't been so secluded within my family. Don't get me wrong, my parents are amazing, but they failed to allow me to experience life on my own terms and were adamant about telling me what I should and should not do before those situations even presented in my life. Art, creativity, writing and reading became some of my first passions as I was allowed to dive into those activities without being held back by others who didn't understand. Those early passions became my "outs"; the passions that allowed me to see the world from the front step I was never allowed to leave.

Back then I didn't realize how much I was being influenced and effected by my parents inability to allow me to be free under their careful watching eyes. I didn't understand that my entire spirit and soul was being held back and it was beyond any thought of mine that I could actually change what was going on and create my own world, find other passions, and pursue other experiences that made me happy. Back then I didn't even know what happy was because like most teenagers everything sucked no matter what was going on and then add to that me being a secluded teenager deprived of living experiences that would have helped me be a more informed young adult. But then again if I hadn't been raised the way I was and gone through what I did dealing with what was thrown at me I wouldn't be here talking to you right now with the knowledge I now know. So it worked out in the end. I had to go through all that I did because my purpose was bigger than I thought it was. I was stronger than I knew at that time but that was why it all happened. It needed to happen for me to be able to fulfill my purpose as an adult. And here I am for you.

Growing up I didn't understand what was missing from my life but as I got older I realized that missing piece of my puzzle was happiness. I was existing but that was about it. I had fake happiness that was enough for the time being but eventually it wouldn't be and won't be for anyone out there feelings the same way right now, connecting and relating to my words.

Through the years I grew up a little more, had a couple of breakdowns, and went on to realize that happiness can't be found anywhere other than from within myself. I didn't need to chase it. I didn't need to blame others for my lack of happiness. I couldn't sit stagnant and think that happiness would just find me. I had to fucking DO SOMETHING that to put it simply, made me happy.

Why do so many of us think happiness is so hard to achieve? When really it is the most common, easiest, basic need and you have the power to be happy in you all the time, every day, every single fucking moment.

I wish I would have realized that back when I was trying to sell my body for some drugs and booze because I thought that's what would make my "best friend" happy. It didn't. She didn't care and what I actually did was prove to her how unstable I was. Don't be like me. Don't try and sell sex to obtain material bullshit for yourself or especially for someone else. It won't work. DON'T DO ANYTHING for someone else with the mindset that if you do (insert action) that person will like/love you more and decide you are important enough for their time and attention.

Fuck that shit. Fuck it all. Fuck fuck fuckity mother fuck.

Don't allow the past decisions that were made for you to determine who you are now. Don't let the past in any way dictate what your life should look like now. Find yourself, find your passion, find your bullshit and deal with it. Rewrite the rules you have been living up to this point and find some new rules to live by that point you in the direction of HAPPY.

It really is that simple. Happy is a passion of mine and it can be an achievable passion for you as well. No it won't just fall into your lap. No you won't just wake up happy one day. No it doesn't just happen over night. This shit takes some time and that journey, that new road you are on, sometimes that road is hella bumpy and shitty as hell but enjoy that road. Take the time to enjoy that process happening.

More often than not the journey to your desired destination is more important than the destination itself.

Accumulate a passion for happiness and then use it in everything you do. Don't allow a prior life of not knowing, of having your passions dampened, to stunt the growth of the you that you are now. Don't allow ANYTHING to stop you from your happiness, whatever that looks like for you.

HAPPINESS is whole. HAPPINESS is light. HAPPINESS looks good on EVERYONE. Especially YOU.

As always

Live Love