New Paradigms

Paradigm - An assumption or thought you have about an experience, defined by yours truly.

Example: I can't seem to keep a boyfriend for longer than a couple months so there must be something wrong with me. I must be pushing them away with what I'm doing or who I am.

From now on you will continue to tell yourself that there is something wrong with you and people don't like you. You will never be normal and you're just going to be alone forever being the crazy hippie cat lady that crochets and listens to rock and roll while head banging in the lazy boy recliner. You are always going to suck and you're never going to have the life you want and you are always going to be miserable with no one to love or love you and the thoughts keep coming and coming and coming and coming and

What if you knew how to change current negative mindsets (paradigms) that are holding you back to positive mindsets and thoughts that propel you forward to the blissful existence that all of society craves? What if you knew how to create a life you love? Or what if you knew that your life was awesome but that everything ahead of you was going to continue to be even more awesome and you looked forward to everything every single day. What if you also looked forward to everything even when some negative experiences were happening and life sucked but you knew that things would get better because you know how to apply this positive mindset to your current situation and actually live an awesome amazing perfect life created by YOU.

So many what ifs though right? Making the realization that your life right now, at this exact moment, is just the way it's supposed to be and is your own version of perfect is a huge step in your personal growth. When you allow yourself to experience life and enjoy the process even when negative experiences are thrown your way you are continuously growing into a better version of who you are right now. Sometimes you can feel out of control even when you know that you are in control, remember you are in control. Know there are choices. Know that sometimes others may feel sacrificed because you chose to help yourself first but accept that. Accept the fact that you are unable to do and be the person you want if you haven't taken care of yourself first and foremost and you're always doing what others want you to do. And how are you going to keep being the good person you are and taking care of others simply because you WANT to if you don't remember to keep your personal tank filled up with positive energy? I like to think about it like being on a plane that's about to crash into the ocean. How the fuck are you supposed to help anyone else if you aren't in any condition to do so? How are you going to be of any use to yourself or anyone else if you are dead? If you don't put your own oxygen mask on to make sure you can breathe and you follow the crash instructions first then really...how are you supposed to even try and save someone else let alone possibly multiple people? You can't. You simply can't. Same goes for your life.

Anyways...

Changing that mindset is one step. Then you have to continue to follow through by making choices you truly want to make, that will benefit you, and allow you to live the life you want. Stop making choices because mom wants you too. Stop allowing your spouse to invade your thought space. You can make your own decisions while still respecting your love interest. Don't make a choice because your boss wants you too, your best friend wants you too or even someone as respected as your pastor. Just don't. Make your choices because you went over all your facts and this is the choice you want to make, at this moment, regarding this human experience. No one else truly has to live with that choice but you so why are you allowing someone else to make your choices for you? Or to influence your thought process so much you do it just to get them to shut up? Stop basing your choices, your happiness and your life off of others. Your life is your choice and there's no fucking other way to look at it. You are yours.

So if you're interested in making some life changes first change your mindset around the situation and keep telling yourself that your life right now can and should be fucking blissful. Remind yourself (over and over again if you need to) that if you take some action to make your vision a reality it really WILL be fucking awesome right now and can only get better for the future.

Secondly start making choices that benefit you. Whenever you are caught in the middle and not quite sure if the answer you want to give is the right one ask yourself "how is this choice going to benefit me?" I'm not saying that you are the center of the world and everyone needs to fall at your feet and kiss your toe corns. But what I am saying is that you are allowed to enjoy this human experience so allow yourself to make choices that actually let you be happy. You are allowed to smile, be happy, and do things that interest you and say no to the shit you don't want in your life, that doesn't benefit you, that doesn't align with your visions. No matter what higher power you believe in isn't it fairly universal that life is about experiences? How you choose to define experience is up to you though.

However you choose to define experiences in your life you should also choose to find the positive opportunity in each and every one of those experiences. They are there. I KNOW this because I've been in that "there are no other choices! I have no other choices! I have to do this!" phase more times than I can count. I've finally come to the point in my life where I've realized, deep through to my soul, that there is ALWAYS a choice though.

Choose to be happy with who you are right now and what your life is at this moment. No matter how you define experiences choose to make sure that choices is a part of your definition.

If you are really having a hard time with exuding confidence in yourself I challenge you to sit down right after reading this post and write down three positive things about yourself.

Examples: I'm...

~ creative and come up with some really good ideas sometimes

~ silly and make people laugh

~ tall and can reach really high shelves

~ short and can hide super well to scare people

~ annoying sometimes but I get people to talk to me and open up so they have someone to talk too

It can be anything. So go for it. Talk yourself up. Be proud of who you are and what you are capable of doing.

(If you can't tell sometimes I get off track but I swear it all ties in together and is all beneficial to your growing knowledge)

Finally, lastly, and thirdly...KEEP making choices that make you happy and benefit you and your life in some way. Keep making choices that make you feel good about who you are, that bring you steps closer to those morals and values you've chosen to live your life by. Make choices that bring you steps closer to living that pure blissful existence I keep talking about. It's really there. It really is attainable.

So in a nutshell....

1) Change your mindset around how you view your life. Find what you are grateful for, make it a habit (keep a journal and write this shit down) keep finding things you are grateful for, celebrate those things every day and simply LOVE your life right now.

2) START making choices that benefit you but don't be a dick. There are different kinds of selfishness good and bad. Be a good selfish. Be selfish to the point of making sure your boundaries are not being crossed and the choices you are making are because you WANT to make them not because someone else is influencing you so much you feel you need to just do what they want. If you find yourself really struggling with this concept you know where to find me.

3) CONTINUE to make choices that make you happy and benefit your life at that moment and for the bigger picture, bigger vision, bigger journey. Consciously think about what you are doing and why. If it doesn't benefit you in a positive way and bring you one step closer to your life vision then don't fucking do it.

Remember....you have choices.

Live Love.