Failure is Also Your Way to Joy

A lot of adults tend to have this habit of seeing their mistakes as problems and failures rather than learning lessons with positive opportunities. All the time we are telling our children that mistakes are OK, that next time they can make better choices because of what they learned this time and things will turn out better in the shorter and longer run for them. We also tell ourselves and other adults the same advice but typically end up not following it ourselves when the advice suits the situation. Why? It's so much easier to point out everyone else's failures than admit to our own. I get it.

It get's seriously mind boggling once you realize how many times you have even done this yourself, how many times you have made situations in your life so much more worse than they needed to be. How often you don't take your own advice when you should and it would fix your own problems that you feel you have in your life. How messed up right? We always have the answers but we choose not to accept them or even recognize them sometimes.

We all fuck up and fail to do what we should occasionally but it shouldn't be a constant habit and internal battle. I personally feel there is a learning lesson in EVERY experience.

If someone were to come to you in a positive manner under the right intentions to point something out about your behavior or a situation this could be a great learning lesson. Instead of the initial reaction most might have of becoming defensive you could stop and think or rather continue to listen to the other person's feelings about the conversation at hand. Really hear their words without interrupting - that's always a work in progress really, I can be terrible about it - and maybe trying to understand why they feel that way. I like to go to people with examples on the tip of my brain and my facts backing up the thoughts I'm sharing.

Remember though that one person sharing their thoughts about another person or situation doesn't mean it's right or the only way. It's just one side and there are always multiples. Susan thinks you are being mean but Edith thinks you are more outspoken than others. It's all a difference of opinion but the point is to respect the opinions even if you don't agree.

I always try my best to be prepared to deflate the situation in advance as well but let me tell you that even trying to be prepared doesn't always work. Situations will go where the people take them so be the person that steers the situation down a more positive and solution oriented path. Be the person that chooses to BE the bigger person, to revel in all the moment has to offer and be goal oriented.

Oh and don't ever forget that sometimes the simplest way to reassess and deflate a situation if someone or everyone is getting heated is to shut the fuck up. Just stop and shut the fuck up. Start again calmly after a good old fashioned break. Then choose to be the bigger person. It may feel shitty at the moment because it feels as though you are losing (no one is losing really) but the long term effects it will have on you and your relationships will benefit the bigger positive happier life and person you are trying to achieve and be. It's a mindset change so shut the fuck up sometimes and think before you start talking and if you fuck up then remember to check yourself the next time.

Another helpful tip is to try and view yourself as others may view you. Are you showing up to others in the way you are intending? It's never a terrible thing to take a break, take a moment, and reassess yourself, essentially assessing your soul, in order to calm things down and settle your mind enough to make better choices while also embracing the mistakes made.

Mistakes are what help us move forward and learn, to grow and be better people, to live better lives and achieve happiness and joy. Mistakes are the stepping stones to figuring out where you are going in life and who you want to be, how you want to show in this human experience. Mistakes get us to where we want to be if only you look at them in a more positive light. View them as an opportunity and a step toward whatever next step you want to take in your journey. Change your mindset surrounding mistakes and a positive ripple is made changing your life forever.

It's all up to you on what you gain from viewing life with more opportunities.

Ugh. I've felt quite a bit of bad energy surrounding others lately in regards to owning up to their shit and I don't enjoy it. It's almost as if they feel that if they let those feelings of failure in they become the mistakes themselves and those mistakes will define them.

Well let me clear this up for some of you. Your mistakes will never define you. They are just a part of you. They are details and chapters to your story that are important and they matter but they don't define you. Allow those feelings of failure to exist without wallowing in them, holding grudges, or seeking revenge. Then search and find the opportunity that could exist within the mistake and hold on to it tight. Own the fuck up, don't deny the behavior or situation and be a better person next time, make a better choice, bounce back a little quicker.

This is a part of the bigger problem so I say let's change it. Let's all try and choose (more often than not) to respond to situations and experiences we may view as negative in a more positive light and actively look for the opportunity sooner. Let's all be better, continuously, and the small infantile ripples will make larger scale substantial changes.

These are all huge steps to an overall growth in your being, steps that will take you to joy. Making conscious choices such as choosing to learn from all life situations and finding the opportunities in even the worst seeming experiences are eye opening and life changing positive experiences. Use them all to your advantage.

Light and love is always present so apply them to everything in your life, to yourself, to your soul.

As always

Live love